Dating: DON’T DO IT

Hey, I’m not dead!  How about that!?

So I moved.  It didn’t kill me.  I have a sweet new pad.  Probably the best place I’ve lived so far.  I have been told that a man in uniform lives next to us…and SPEAKING of men in uniform - I’m picking LT up from the airport this evening after work, yesssss. He came back from Iraq last week.  He’s been really weird since he got home which has me kind of worried.  Work and such has been sucking for him since he got home so hopefully that’s all it is.  Or maybe god said “Hey you’ve been happy for what, like…TWO MONTHS NOW!? Crap, how did I let THAT happen!?” and decided to make LT turn out crazy like the rest of them.  Oh goody.

So I’ve had some other fun stuff going on that I’ll have to catch you up on.  The damn Square Peg started text messaging me.  You’d think he’d get it wouldn’t you?  I’m dating someone awesome and you SUCK and I stopped answering your facebook messages… get a clue, seriously?  LT totally wants to kick his ass which amuses me.

Also, Officer Ew sent me a message on facebook again.  When he asked me out I said I was busy and that life would mostly be back to normal by mid August, so August 14th hits and the bastard is raring to go with his message “How’d the move go?” You could say he’s only politely curious, or icky.  Seriously this guy is icky.  He is also one of the main reasons LTs bff got kicked out of our high school back in the day = LT wants to kick his ass too.

OH, AND ok Ozzy’s birthday is Sunday and he’s having a cook out.  He told me about it on Wednesday, and I said “Can I bring the boy?” to which he did not respond.  I assumed the answer was yes until he was like um can you not bring him cause I don’t want it to be a lot of people.  I said “I can’t come.”  “Why?”  Oh I don’t know, MAYBE CAUSE I DON’T WANT TO STORE MY MAN IN THE TRUNK OF MY CAR WHILE I GO TO YOUR PARTY???  Sheeit.  Then Ozzy decided LT could come…after we’d already made plans with other people of course.  Great, good work Ozzy.  Now I’m in a real pickle and LT doesn’t want to go to your smelly party anyway.

HAH

My days have slowly grown long an unexciting. The big move looms ominously from a week away, while I just sit here in it’s shadow and study every carefully planned action scheduled on my calendar from now until the middle of August. I hope that I can somehow save up all of my energy from these sleepy weekends into some sort of primitive human battery for 3 days in which I will move, unpack, pack, and leave for a 5 day business trip. I’m fairly certain that won’t work, and I will be fueled strictly by adrenaline, excitement, and my inability to sleep in the midst of disorganization.

In comparison to the usual rowdiness of my [love] life, things are alarmingly quiet. The Green Giant awkwardly complimented my glasses (me + glasses = I’ve grown lazy). LT is alive and well in his sweltering sandy hell where he works daily on perfecting his tan and his abs in the absence of anything better to do. Officer Ew, a super-dork and old friend from high school asked me on a date. He is a DC metro police officer. He has succeeded at what I once thought was the impossible task of making a police uniform look gross. I intend to be nice and use this situation to my advantage because I am a wily woman and making friends with a cop is never a bad idea.

LT will arrive for a visit shortly after I return home from my business trip mid august, and I will begin my new life in my new home. I predict that I will get very little sleep and it will be awesome.

Now, I think it’s time for a nap :)