Dating: DON’T DO IT

Remember back when I was acting a fool over a tall scrawny dork who wore elastic dress shoes???

Thank god that’s over, eh?  The Green Giant doesn’t lend himself well to being the most memorable sort of character.  To be honest with you, I did look for his car in the parking lot for a month or two after I called it quits, but I had completely forgotten about him until I got wind of some curious news.

It’s not NEWS news, like if say…if I knew it for a fact or something, but it’s interesting.

Wayyy back before time was invented and I was still pining after the Green Giant, he complained about how the business program that our companies are in sucks.   He told me they were quitting the program and moving their office a few miles away in November due to it’s suckage.  This was back in April so I was like ehhhh I’ve got MONTHS between now and then to seal the deal…then LT came barging in and shit.  You know how that turned out.

Anyway.

So I used to run into GG all the time.  All the time, all the time.  Like running up and down the stairs for snacks, running out to get lunch, on the way in to work, on the way out of work, etc.  Then sometime shortly after LT’s proposal fiasco mess of a thing that happened, the Green Giant vanished.  His car was still in the parking lot, but I NEVER saw him.  Not even one time from then until now. Super sketchy?

There was this one morning I kinda saw him on the way to work.  We both happened to get off the highway at the same time, so we were waiting at the light to turn into work, and I was right behind him.  I followed him all the way to the parking lot.  He parked waaay back in the corner, jumped out of his car, and was halfway to the building before I even got out of my car… WEIRDOOO

I’ve seen some of his employees around the building since I stopped running into him and have been mildly friendly.  A week or so I noticed one of his employees had a “packing the office” away message up.  I guess they are gone now.  A “Hey guys, we’re leaving.” message would have been nice, but either way we finally have enough space in our parking lot again.

So I was looking for a video of the Jimmy Eat World song If You Don’t, Don’t because it’s been stuck in my head since I heard it in my car this morning.  Occasionally I take a gander at the comments people have left on YouTube videos because I need a laugh.  Oh boy did I laugh this morning

“i’ve always loved this song because of three reasons 1 because in 5th grade i had a crush on this girl named Tanya and it makes think of her… now she’s in Arizona and i never got to show her my true fellings and now in 7th grade i regret each day :<….. 2 IT RULES!!!!!!!! 3 it puts out a point (somehow)”

Don’t lie, at first you were like aw some guy out there remembers a girl he had a crush on the 5th grade, that’s sweet.  Then you kept reading, the wheels turned, and you choked on your coffee in your haste to laugh because you realized he was in fact just now in the beginning of SEVENTH GRADE and…he regrets every day.

Also, what does “it puts out a point” mean?  and why is it only “somehow” putting out a point?  Is that anything like “putting out” as I know it?  Did Tanya not put out?  Hopefully not because she was, according to my calculations, about 9 or 10.  What are true feelings like when you are 9 or 10?

OH NO, YOU NEVER GOT TO SHARE YOUR TRUE FEELINGS!??!

I’m cruel, I know, but I can also identify with our young friend.  I am trying oh so hard to remember the face of the boy I had a crush on in 5th grade.  I remember his name, Daniel Piano, and that he wore a puffy Pittsburg Steelers starter jacket that I used to secretly sort of snuggle with when we had assigned seats next to each other.  He was so painfully cool because he threw caution to the wind and used mechanical pencils - the #1 outlawed school suppy in the 5th grade.  Shortly after he began smoking and became too bad boy for me.

I still have a soft spot for steelers starter jackets.

Good luck with Tanya, kid.

THINGS GOT CRAZY THIS WEEKEND! I am SO busy at work my head is spinning, I swear I’ll update you soon!

♥ Ramona

I am hopelessly smitten with a boy on YouTube. I’m like crawling out of my skin over here. Good heavens he can sing…AND play the guitar. Have I mentioned I am a TOTAL SUCKER for those things? Combined they are like napalm to the soul. AHHHH!?!??!

*faints*

I think he might be wearing a shirt that says “ho’s kitchen” …? Oh someone save me from myself. He’s probably 18 and lives in his parents basement…with what appears to be a large orange Celtic fabric wall hanging in the background.

guitar + sublime songs + fabric wall hanging = pot head.

SLAMS HEAD ON DESK.

Can’t. Stop. Watching.

[Don’t worry. I won’t be able resist the temptation to send him a message. This isn’t over yet.]